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Shattered Dreams

You’ve had your life planned out since you were ten. You knew the classes you would need to take in high school to get into a good college. You knew the names of your future children and the type of man you’d marry. You had an idea of where you wanted to live, what you wanted your house to look like, what type of lifestyle you would live. You’ve even known what kind of career you’d want. Yes, other children’s choices would change—one day Sally would want to be a doctor, the next a veterinarian. But you, you’ve always wanted to be a teacher. It’s always been your dream.

So you follow your plan to the best of your ability. High school is a swarm of AP and honor classes because you need to get into that college with the outstanding reputation for the program of your choice. Your social life is lacking a little, but that’s okay. You tell yourself you will go have fun in college, branch out more and party a little. This right here is too important, you must succeed. And you do. You go to a good college and

I’ve had my life planned out since I was ten. Even at that age I understood how important it was to go to a good college, so therefore I realized high school was important. I know what kind of man I want to marry and, thanks to Pinterest, I have an idea of what my wedding will look life. I’ve picked out the names for my future children, know what kind of house I want to live in, and what type of lifestyle I will have. I’ve also always wanted to be a teacher. It’s always been my dream career and I’ve centered a lot of life on that goal.

So I followed my plan to the best of my ability. High school was a swarm of AP and honor classes because I needed to get into a good college with an outstanding teaching program. I succeeded: I graduated with honors and was accepted into the education program at the college I chose.

In college I’ve done everything right. I choose studying instead of partying and as a result my GPA is high, even freshmen year when so many of my peers struggled. I thrive at school and have been on honor roll since I started college. I take summer classes to make sure I stay on track in my credits and now I’m even graduating early.

But I’m not graduating early by choice. I have to leave college early because I can no longer be in their education program—I can’t pass my teacher tests, my MTELs. I am struggling with these tests that were not created by real teacher, but a company whose employees have never stepped inside of a classroom. I can’t pass test that I study my butt off for. I can’t pass.

My dream of becoming a teacher is coming to an end.

I won’t be able to teach a classroom of students because, in my state’s eyes, I am not good enough. They have judged me through a standardized test and determined I will not be a good teacher. They have never seen me work with a child, encourage students when they do not understand material, nor have they seen how much children love me. There are people who can receive a perfect score on these tests, and you know what? that is not a guarantee they will be an amazing teacher. If you cannot connect with a child you are not a good teacher. But that means nothing. Every teacher I have ever observed tells me I will be an amazing teacher and a principal has even offered to write me a recommendation when I get out of college. That’s how confident she is in me.

But I can’t pass these tests and apparently that determines what a good teacher is.

My dream of becoming a teacher is coming to an end because, even though I followed my blue print, I am not good enough. I am a failure in my state’s eyes. In fact, I am a failure in my own eyes. I am broken, scared, angry, embarrassed, and indescribably sad.

I also never thought I’d say I’m a failure, but here I am writing a post about it.

I guess plans can’t always work out, but I never thought mine would be the one to completely shatter.


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What Sucks about the Gym: Women’s Edition

8d7527bef95702f0a9a81fe191e52b30Let’s be honest: the gym is not always a fun place to be. But the benefits…sometimes they are worth is. Still, there are factors that just absolutely, undeniably suck about the gym. And I’m here to cover them.

  1. You Get Sweaty

That phrase “girls glisten, they don’t sweat” is absolute bullshit and is a saying someone came up with to make girls feel better about the sweat pouring down their face. Your face is dripping with sweat, the flyaways on your hair are giving you devil horns, and you almost want to laugh at how disgusting you look. But then you see the poor girls who are dumb enough to pack on foundation and wear eyeliner, eye shadow and yes, even lip-gloss wear the gym. As her face starts to melt you start to feel better about your appearance. We are a cynical sex.

  1. Some Girls’ Faces Do Not Melt

And then you look to your left and this five-second regained confidence is thrown to the other side of the gym where it is devoured by the treadmill. It’s great. As we’ve said, you look like a sweaty wildebeest and then there is girl working out, packed with makeup, looking beautiful. You know she is wearing a ton of makeup, but guys may not. After all, I know plenty of men who think the Kardashians are all “naturel” and have no makeup on. Please.

  1. Cute Boys Get to See Your Sexy Pit Stains

There is no use in trying to hide them. Accept them, embrace them. On the bright side, at least everybody has them. Excluding some of those lucky sweat-free, cake-face girls, of course. Damn them.

  1. Muscle Heads

They’re the guys who think bigger is better and lifting two hundred plus pounds is easy. Spending two hours a day, six days a week at the gym is considered fun, and they always wear shirts without sleeves. They’re positive that being able to lift a girl above their head like Patrick Swezay does to Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing is super sexy and they’re absolutely, positively right. But, their personality sucks. Knowing their arms and abs are mouth dropping, constantly flexing, and overall cockiness is super unattractive and I suggest you stay away. But just because you can’t touch, doesn’t mean you can’t look, right? Another side note: have you ever wondered why they feel the need to have enormous muscles and spend every day at the gym? Perhaps they are overcompensating? Just something to think about….

  1. You Have to Start from the Bottom

A lot of people’s New Year Resolutions include going to the gym more. But actually keeping up with it is hard. Getting the motivation to go to the gym a few times can be easy, but realizing how out of shape you are, demonstrated by your wheezing after five minutes on the treadmill, can be discouraging. And the view of the body builders does not help either. What you have to remember is that everyone has to start from the bottom and you will get better and there is scientific proof (I think)! Personally, I think the second step can be the hardest because it requires you to keep up with your goal. But seriously, why won’t the world just allow us to start at like step five of ten or something.

  1. It Can Take Forever to Get Visible Results

I think this is the sucky-est part of the gym. So the muscle heads are jerks, but that doesn’t mean you don’t envy their looks. You may look around and see people who started going to the gym at the same time as you getting quicker results—especially the men. Men and women’s bodies are built differently and they can build muscle and lose weight faster. Part of that is because the more fat we have, the better it is for pregnancy and bearing children (or something like that). However, you will get results eventually. It may take you longer than some of the other people that surround you, but it will happen. Perhaps it will not be demonstrated physically, at first, but one of the first things you will notice is your increased stamina! That is a great stride! You have to give yourself time to get results. Unfortunately the world seems to be against us ladies sometimes and it sucks, but, as my mother once said, you just have to grin and bear it.

Us lucky ladies have the privilege of wearing oh-so-attractive sweat, dealing with douchebag body builders, and waiting for what seems like forever to see some physical results. It sucks and many hate the gym because of it.

Want to know what does not suck, though? The sexy bodies we will eventually have.

*Disclaimer: Not all muscle heads are assholes. Just most.

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Sorry I have not posted lately! I had finals and then the holidays made my schedule very hectic! I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!

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Gulliver’s Travels Lesson Plan Project

I have a final project in my English 321 class and one of prompts available to us was to make a lesson plan! I decided to focus on the British Restoration Period and Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels. These are the essay topics I would give if it was a real lesson plan:

  1. Choose one land in Gulliver’s Travels. Who/what does Swift critique within the land and/or people? Write a 2-4 page analysis of the satire within Gulliver’s Travels using examples and quotes from the land and people inside the novel.
  2. Gulliver changes throughout this novel and in each land he seems to take on a new persona. How does his character in the first few voyages compare to his last one? What do you think of Gulliver? Write about his development in a well-written 2-4 page analysis. Make sure to include quotes and examples to support your ideas.
  3. You are living in the Restoration/Augustan time period in Britain and come across Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels. You decide to buy the book and give it to your neighbor as a gift. Your neighbor later finds you and tells you his opinion of the book. Using your knowledge of the historical background in the Restoration/Augustan Era, what would your neighbor’s reaction to the book be? Write a 2-4 page paper on your neighbor’s reaction to Gulliver’s Travels and be sure to use examples and quotes to back up your claim.

Hint: You are allowed to make up details of your fictional neighbor: is he in a political positon, and if so is he a Whig or Torie? Is he part of the Protestant reform? Remember, all of these factors would influence his view on the book. This is the hardest prompt and requires the most creativity; papers that attempt this prompt will be given extra consideration.

  1. Choose any one satirical element embedded within Gulliver’s Travels and write a 2-4 page in-depth analysis of it, using different examples and quotes from different parts and lands of the book.
  2. The Houyhnhnms are controversial creatures. Some believe Swift includes them in his novel to portray the ideal human society while others believe Swift uses them to show exactly how society should not be. What do you think? Does their treatment of the Yahoos affect your view? Using quotes and passages from the book, write a 3-4 page paper argument to support your view. (This is an opinion piece, so you may write in first person tense.)

So what I have noticed throughout all my high school and college English classes is that there is one prompt that always sucks. Like seriously, there is just one topic that no one would choose unless they were crazy! However, I feel like teachers give extra points to the students who are crazy enough to attempt that option—I know I would! So, being an “English teacher”, I also decided to include one that I think is terrible. Which one do you think it is?  I also made the requirements for the last prompt longer because I believe that one is the easiest because you can write in the first person, and since it is the easiest I know a lot of students will choose it. However, I want to read some variety and the page length may discourage some students into choosing a shorted one! Aren’t I so nice?

P.S. The third topic is the one that sucks. Which one did you choose, though?

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Figuring out blogging and a little more about me

This is my first blog post so I have no clue what I’m supposed to write about…

But, my name is Jordan and I am a junior in college. I am currently double majoring in both English and elementary education, I say currently because I might drop the ELED part and graduate early with just my bachelors in English. From there, I would go straight to grad school where I would get my masters in education.

I have lived in Massachusetts all my life. I truly believe I live in the best part of the country–even though winter can suck.

I have a younger sister who started applying to colleges a few weeks and this makes me realize how old I am getting, even though I’m not yet 21. I have a dog whose personality resembles more of a cat’s and her bark sounds more like a “moo” (yes, I know that is weird).

Okay, so my next post will be more “bloggish” I suppose, but thanks for bearing with me on this extremely boring post!

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