What Sucks about the Gym: Women’s Edition

8d7527bef95702f0a9a81fe191e52b30Let’s be honest: the gym is not always a fun place to be. But the benefits…sometimes they are worth is. Still, there are factors that just absolutely, undeniably suck about the gym. And I’m here to cover them.

  1. You Get Sweaty

That phrase “girls glisten, they don’t sweat” is absolute bullshit and is a saying someone came up with to make girls feel better about the sweat pouring down their face. Your face is dripping with sweat, the flyaways on your hair are giving you devil horns, and you almost want to laugh at how disgusting you look. But then you see the poor girls who are dumb enough to pack on foundation and wear eyeliner, eye shadow and yes, even lip-gloss wear the gym. As her face starts to melt you start to feel better about your appearance. We are a cynical sex.

  1. Some Girls’ Faces Do Not Melt

And then you look to your left and this five-second regained confidence is thrown to the other side of the gym where it is devoured by the treadmill. It’s great. As we’ve said, you look like a sweaty wildebeest and then there is girl working out, packed with makeup, looking beautiful. You know she is wearing a ton of makeup, but guys may not. After all, I know plenty of men who think the Kardashians are all “naturel” and have no makeup on. Please.

  1. Cute Boys Get to See Your Sexy Pit Stains

There is no use in trying to hide them. Accept them, embrace them. On the bright side, at least everybody has them. Excluding some of those lucky sweat-free, cake-face girls, of course. Damn them.

  1. Muscle Heads

They’re the guys who think bigger is better and lifting two hundred plus pounds is easy. Spending two hours a day, six days a week at the gym is considered fun, and they always wear shirts without sleeves. They’re positive that being able to lift a girl above their head like Patrick Swezay does to Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing is super sexy and they’re absolutely, positively right. But, their personality sucks. Knowing their arms and abs are mouth dropping, constantly flexing, and overall cockiness is super unattractive and I suggest you stay away. But just because you can’t touch, doesn’t mean you can’t look, right? Another side note: have you ever wondered why they feel the need to have enormous muscles and spend every day at the gym? Perhaps they are overcompensating? Just something to think about….

  1. You Have to Start from the Bottom

A lot of people’s New Year Resolutions include going to the gym more. But actually keeping up with it is hard. Getting the motivation to go to the gym a few times can be easy, but realizing how out of shape you are, demonstrated by your wheezing after five minutes on the treadmill, can be discouraging. And the view of the body builders does not help either. What you have to remember is that everyone has to start from the bottom and you will get better and there is scientific proof (I think)! Personally, I think the second step can be the hardest because it requires you to keep up with your goal. But seriously, why won’t the world just allow us to start at like step five of ten or something.

  1. It Can Take Forever to Get Visible Results

I think this is the sucky-est part of the gym. So the muscle heads are jerks, but that doesn’t mean you don’t envy their looks. You may look around and see people who started going to the gym at the same time as you getting quicker results—especially the men. Men and women’s bodies are built differently and they can build muscle and lose weight faster. Part of that is because the more fat we have, the better it is for pregnancy and bearing children (or something like that). However, you will get results eventually. It may take you longer than some of the other people that surround you, but it will happen. Perhaps it will not be demonstrated physically, at first, but one of the first things you will notice is your increased stamina! That is a great stride! You have to give yourself time to get results. Unfortunately the world seems to be against us ladies sometimes and it sucks, but, as my mother once said, you just have to grin and bear it.

Us lucky ladies have the privilege of wearing oh-so-attractive sweat, dealing with douchebag body builders, and waiting for what seems like forever to see some physical results. It sucks and many hate the gym because of it.

Want to know what does not suck, though? The sexy bodies we will eventually have.

*Disclaimer: Not all muscle heads are assholes. Just most.


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